There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
