Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
