Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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