so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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