this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
