Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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