Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
