so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
