So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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