i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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