that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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