she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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