operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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