Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
