I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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