This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
