he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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