you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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