I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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