xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
