Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
