I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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