Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
