you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Randomize
