I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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