my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
