I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
