On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
