I want to stick my p in your. b.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
porn star boner night. come get it.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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