She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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