Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
