Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
