i don't plan on having that self control this summer
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
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