I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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