Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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