made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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