wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
