And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
