i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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