sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
