Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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