I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize