Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
