I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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