Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Randomize
