Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Randomize
