i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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