Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
