You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize