The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
