You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
