These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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