my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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