I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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