You're my little dorito
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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