Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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