I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
