Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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