he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize