why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
