Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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