sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
