I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
