I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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