I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize