She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Randomize
