Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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